You need to chip those kids.

Please never say this to my face. I might not calm down and realize you were joking before I did something rude, like rip out your steaming entrails with my bare hands. I mean, I'd regret it afterward, of course, but heat of the moment.

I believe that the state of California either passed or was considering a law forbidding employers from chipping their employees. The fact that this is necessary saddens me very much.