aelfie: (Default)
aelfie ([personal profile] aelfie) wrote2010-11-23 09:29 pm
Entry tags:

Books

194. A Nest for Celeste by Henry Cole
Saw this one at the used bookstore and the drawings inside caught my eye. Chapter book level reading, simple, but nice story. Illustrations are awesome

195. Bunny tales:Behind closed doors at the Playboy Mansion by Izabella St. James
Story of one of the Party Posse. Hef's set of 7 girlfriends. No surprises, but still interesting.

196. Teach your own by John Holt.
Old book on homeschooling, but considered one of the classics. As a nearly 30 year old book its legal information was quite dated, but some of the other bits were still applicable. Enjoyable read. One statement that made me really think. At one point the author points out that most people not only neither trust nor respect children, they don't like them either. And I'm going "Wait....what?" I thought about it and realized its true. We don't trust children...we weren't trusted as children (I'm sure we can all point to incidents we when we were children and adults didn't trust us) and in turn we don't trust the children around us. We are trained by society to believe that children are out to do bad, make messes, do the wrong thing on purpose to irritate us, etc, etc. Its making me think about how I think about my children.

And I also pondered the not liking children. I realized that's true too. Most people will say they like children. And what they mean is they like well behaved, quiet, non-intrusive, instantly obedient children. Hence [livejournal.com profile] ross_teneyck 's comment that truly the best thing in the world is holding a sleeping baby...who upon waking up screaming and puking which you can hand back to its mother. As long as the baby was quiet and sleeping...its a good baby and you like it. Once it wakes up, hand it off to someone else to deal with, its not such a pleasant baby anymore. So go away baby! (Sorry to pick on you Ross). And most adult views of children follow this same path. As long as children are quiet and not bothering me...they are good kids and likable. Once they start acting like active children...they are a menace and need a good beating disciplining so they stop acting up. Maybe I'm a little sensitive about this. Not too long ago someone told me that I have the worst behaved children they've ever seen. Maybe that's true...but I think I need to work on continuing to like them when they do act like little beasts brats heathens terrors monsters children. Loving children is easy...liking them...especially when there are a lot of them, and are not easy children, is a lot harder.

liking children

[identity profile] mollygm.livejournal.com 2010-12-04 09:28 pm (UTC)(link)
I think there's truth to that statement. I don't trust kids. Unless they've shown that they can handle something, whether it's washing their hands after potty or bring the car home before curfew, they need a close eye. That's guidance. We're not born knowing how and what we should do. It's not that I don't trust them because they're BAD, though.

Which brings me to the other thing. "Good kids" and "bad kids." I don't agree with those labels and I really try to avoid using them all kids are GOOD. I like kids. I like quiet kids, I like loud kids, I like kids. I like YOUR kids. It's normal for kids to get into stuff, make messes, get loud and all that other fun crap. It would be weird if they didn't. However, just because its normal for them to try it, doesn't mean you can't guide them away from it. Kids won't wash their hands unless you train (yes, TRAIN them to do it). It doesn't mean you don't like their childlike tendencies.

Then there are behaviors that are not normal. Either because of their wiring or their environment, some behaviors can't just be shrugged off as "kids acting up." Meanness, diliberate destruction, lack of empathy or lack of any kind of respect or consideration for authority are not normal and can't be ignored. People will not like children with these behaviors, just like if they grow up without having them corrected people will not like them as adults.