Frustrated

I want food. I ordered pizza for everyone else for dinner, but there's nothin' around here for me.

Grrrr. I don't want to fix food...its why I ordered take-out.

And I'm sick of this head-cold...I'm tired of feeling like poop!

I hate being sick

It makes me maudlin, and cranky, and depressed.

I swear head colds are the worst. Sinus pain, runny nose, sore throat. Bleh.

Lately I've been feeling less than successful at parenting. Too much yelling and screaming going on. The last couple of days I've been fighting the "I'm a horrible mother, I shouldn't be responsible for these people 'cause I'll just fuck them up, et cetera, et cetera". In other words, I've been really down on myself the last few days (being sick has absolutely nothing, whatsoever to do with this.) (Riiiiiight.)

Anyway. I was meditating last night while nursing Gray, and I heard the still, quiet voice. "You are worthy." Its been resonating and reverbrating in my brain all day. And it really has helped put me at ease. I'm not a bad mother. I still hear my Step-mother's voice every once in awhile, and I hear it loudest at times like these when I'm down on myself, what I heard last night, has helped greatly to shut her up.

Its nice that the Universe hasn't had to continue to smack me upside the head to get its message to me. I guess I'm finally learning to listen.

Homeschooling thoughts about this week

A couple of thoughts worth jotting down.

• talking through a prop is VERY effective at getting the kids to behave
• keep the prop out of their reach. King Equals does NOT like being abused. And he's vocal about it too.
• Circle time still feels contrived and very frustrating. However, I skipped it one day this week and the school morning went much smoother. A couple of deep breaths and a start seems to work fine.
• Still need more Brain Gym I think
• Must rethink recorder lessons. Ike is having a hard time reaching feeling the holes. I'm not sure if its his level of frustration interfering or his lack of fine motor skills. I'll keep plugging away with him and see how it goes. Might need to switch to penny whistle (sounds good and cheap) or the pentatonic flute (sounds good, but expensive). Either way, I'd have to start all over again. He did manage to get a G and an A  in the right order. I'm thinking its more lack of self confidence.
• Need to think about knitting soon. It should help him with his fine motor. Debating on whether to start with two needle knitting, or spool knitting.
• Need to work on keeping the kids from abusing the chalkboard drawings. King Equals didn't last a day without someone screwing up the drawing. And it was a good one too!
• changing my behavior requests from "Stop doing X" to "You may do Y" seems effective.
• Forest Fridays are awesome. Ike came home with big smiles, but was very upset that I didn't give him Mac N Cheese in his lunch (friday's Mac N Cheese day)  He had a good time playing with the other kids, building dams in the creek and getting all scratched up.

Homeschooling Plan for this week

Verse Crowning of the Year, A Journey Through Time, 167
Spanish maria tenia una corderita, Bilingual 248
Yoga Respect, Angel Bear Yoga 117
Music Mary had a little lamb
Handwork: Finger knitting

Monday:

• Ike Number III, Riddle (AJTWM, Pg 14)  Draw Mommy, Daddy, Ike in MLB, Write "Mama, Daddy and me are III"
• E&G Goldilocks and the Three Bears
• Baking Day: GF Bread for me, Something for Tuesday Night Dessert Night
• Handwork Day (afternoon)

Tuesday

• Ike Number IV (Or IIII), Riddle (AJTWM, Pg 15) Draw picture of Elements, write "Fire, Water, Earth and Air are IIII"
• E&G Picture book
• Painting Day Yellow sun on blue sky (last week's, but I didn't get to it 'cause I'm sick)
• Form Drawing Revist Curves, Curves up and down
• TKD for Ike (if he wants to go)

Wednesday

• Ike Number V, Riddle (AJTWM, Pg 15) Draw hand outline picture, write "I have V fingers on each hand"
• E&G Goldilocks and the Three Bears
• Modeling Day: Lambs
• TKD for the Girls

Thursday

• Ike: Number VI, Riddle (AJTWM, Pg 15-16) Need to think of  a picture, write "I can touch and see and hear and smell and be!"
• E&G Picture book
• Form Drawing: Curves Revisited Ascending and Descending Curves
• Copywork: Verse of the week
• Music Day (in the afternoon)

Friday:

• Ike: Forest Friday at Sanborn Park
• E&G First day of MOPS for this year.
• Possible trip to library and park after getting Ike.