I'm telling you, it's the hormones kicking in.

Date: 2007-03-22 04:43 am (UTC)
No, I'm not screaming at you.

I'm laughing at you. Perhaps you don't remember this conversation, but *I* certainly do.

Me: You want to have HOW many kids?

You & Joe: Lots. At least 3 or 4. Probably more. After the first few, we'll adopt.

Me: Why?

You & Joe: Ever read "The Marching Morons?"

Me: Good point. BUT ... you two are fucking brilliant. Any kids you two have are going to be blindingly intelligent and a total pain in the ass to raise. Smart kids are easily bored, and bored smart kids are Trouble.

You & Joe: Well, we have to have 'em because you and all of our other gay friends can't have 'em.

Me: Not on a bet. Not kids as brilliant as you two are gonna have. Jesus, they're gonna be a royal pain in the ass...

FAST FORWARD A COUPLE OF YEARS

Jen: I ... am ... going ... to ... kill ... this ... child.

Me: Why?

Jen: Because he's driving me CRAZY.

Me: And WHAT did I tell you about smart kids?

Jen: Shut up.

Me: No, what DID I tell you?

Jen: That they were a pain in the ass to raise AND YOU WERE RIGHT SO SHUT UP.

FAST FORWARD TO JUST AFTER THE GIRLS' BIRTH...

Jen: I love my little baby girls ... you know, we're gonna have at least one more, maybe two after these cuties get a little older.

Me: This from the woman who was going to kill her child?

Jen: Awww ... I didn't mean it.

Me: It's the hormones talking. Listen, YOU HAVE THREE BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN. Quit while you're ahead. If you have to have more, why not start adopting now? Get some kids who are past the intensive-baby-care stage.

Jen: But that's why I LIKE them!

Me: OK, that really IS the hormones talking, and you're scaring me.

Joe: [shrug]

Jen: C'mon...

Me: If you think THREE brilliant kids have been a royal pain so far, I can't wait to watch you both when you go to FOUR of 'em. Have you forgotten that you were ready to kill Ike a couple of years ago?

Jen: I never said that.

Me: Bullshit.
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