Jen's Mental Scribblings

Its 5:30 in the freaking AM, and I am awake. Not voluntarily even. After about 90 minutes of sleep, I've been up since 2 (according to Joe) when Elli woke up, and then attempted to get out of her bed. She failed, fell to the floor and the ensuing crying woke up Gwen. Joe gave me Elli, who, luckily, did go back to sleep after a bit. Gwen on the other hand, just cried. At about 3, I got up and took over for Joe so he could get a bit of sleep. (as he had just fallen asleep when the cryingfest started, damn video games.)

So now I am seriously contemplating the wisdom of going back to bed. Someone, Elli probably, will wake up in the next hour or so and want to start the day. So the question is, which will make me more tired and cranky, staying up? Or going back to bed to try and catch another 60-90 minutes. Decisions, decisions. Bleh.

And the fact that we are supposed to drive to Concord to visit the relatives tommorrow morning has nothing to do with the girls timing. No, can't be. Not at all.

So this morning Ike found a marker. He drew on: both highchairs, Elli, Gwen, himself, the walls, and my new kitchen cabinets.

Thankfully, it wiped up from the cabinets easily.

It will eventually clean off the bodies

Its a permanent fixture on the walls.

*sigh*

Ike also refuses to use the toilet. He's also refusing to clean up after himself after he uses his clothing as a toilet. (I figure, he knows how to use the toilet, it he chooses not to, he can clean himself up.)

All I've got to say is, Joe has some serious sucking up to do to his mom, she just giggles whenever I tell her the latest adventure. "Joe did that too!"

Well, I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease right before Thanksgiving. The only cure is a gluten-free diet. Whee.

I decided that I couldn't handle trying to go gluten free for the rest of my life during the holidays, and that I would do so right after on Jan 1 (like all traditional diets) So,  for the last month, I've been "saying goodbye" to my favorite Gluten containing foods, that I'm pretty damn sure I'll never be able to consume again.

(Although, I'm asymptomatic, meaning I don't have the built in aversion therapy that most celiacs have.  And the headaches I used to get before I started taking tryptophan, have disappeared. I've been eating gluten all month and I haven't had one at all.)

So, today is my last day. What's on the menu?
Oreo's ('cause I'm too damn lazy to make the GF kind)
Pastrami Reuben from Max's cafe (can't fake rye bread)
Olive loaf from Acme Bakery
Brie (okay, no gluten there, but I'm also starting a 90 day allergen fast, and on that list is cheese)
Chocolate (see above)
Chips and Salsa (okay, corn chips are GF, however tomatos and chile pepper fall under that allergen clause)

And anything else I can think of get a hankering for.

And after this month or so, I'm okay with the idea of being gluten free. I've worked through the anger and pity and that part of grieving. I mean who in the hell likes to be different? I'm sure newly diagnosed diabetic's go through the same thing. I know I'll have my rough spots, but I also know there are lots of things I can eat. (although you can be damn sure that tomatos and chile peppers will be among the first few allergens I re-introduce. There's a lot of things I like to eat that contain those. Like salsa, and minestrone soup. And indian food.) I think this 90 day allergen fast will be more difficult, but we shall see what happens.

Okay, so I work very part time for the City of San Jose. I don't work much, maybe 1-2 shifts a month. As a consequence of that, I don't see my boss very often. Maybe once a year, so I don't like bringing attention to myself.

Well I did it in a big way this weekend.

I was scheduled to work sunday. And I plain forgot. I didn't remember until I got an email from said boss asking what happened. Shit!

This will not look good on my review!

I'm getting tired of this crap. I'm getting sick and tired of seeing 5 AM after being up for several hours.

Someday, I know they will sleep. I've just gotta survive till then.

So its almost 5:30 am, I've been up since 1:15 dealing with either awake and/or vomiting children. I've had 3 hours of sleep, the alarm goes off in 90 minutes and I am seriously debating whether it makes sense or not to go back to sleep. I might actually feel worse if I do. If I had any chance in hell of getting some help today I think I'd go straight to bed. But since I'm on my own today, I don't know what to do. I'm fucked if I do, I'm fucked if I don't.

Either way, its going to be a long goddamed day.